As the 6 of us sat cross legged on the ground, the sound of hushed praise filled the room.  I felt like I was in an underground church.  We had to be quite so as not to draw attention to ourselves because this family could be arrested at any moment if discovered.  We had no instruments or songs to sing along with.  A sound system was no where to be found.  But we had something better; we had our own voices to sing with, hands to keep beat, and passion.  We had the Holy Spirit.



Where was I?  What was I doing?  I was spending the night with a family that I met through Life Raft a few months ago and have been helping ever since.  *Wallice and his family are the perfect example of what it means to glory in tribulation and trust God with your life.  After severe persecution in Pakistan they lost everything and came to Thailand in hopes of finding safety.  They had no idea that they would be in danger again.

On Friday I went to stay with this family for the night.  We had been talking about having a sleep-over for a while now, and this weekend worked perfectly.  At times throughout the evening everything seemed normal.  The kids played a game on the computer while the adults chatted.  But the sickening reality came rushing back with a knock at the door.  Everyone immediately fell silent and all giggling ceased abruptly.  Fear and uncertainty hung thick in the air.  This night could go really bad really fast if the police were on the other end of that little door (which suddenly seemed incredibly thin and flimsy).  We waited silently and held our breaths.  When it turned out to be a neighbor everyone was able to exhale and the kids picked up their game where they left off.  This is no way to live was all I could think.  How do they do this every day? 

But their present circumstances don't dampen their faith.  They fuel it.  This family is SO rich in Spirit and full of hope.  "I am praying all the time," said Wallice, "We are all praying so much, and my wife and I are fasting every week.  We know that God will provide for us and deliver us.  He knows everything that we need....I thank my God because he is so good."  And He has been!  It blows my mind.  They received refugee status in a mere 2 months (compared to the typical 5 or more) and are already receiving support from a family in America which has made a huge difference in their lives, allowing them to eat, pay rent, and go to church.  Just last week they had their resettlement interview to begin the next step of their journey: finding a new country.  

Although they are quite far in their process with the UN, they are not out of the water until they board the plane.  Up until that time they are still in danger of being thrown in the Detention Center or deported back to their country where people have already tried to take their lives.  We are continuing to pray for God's favor on this family; that they would be resettled quickly and stay safe during the remainder of their time in Thailand.  They have had some close calls (literally running from the police and hiding in a church) but I do not doubt that they will be okay.  
This battle is being fought and won in on their knees in prayer.

After being patted down and checked for recording devices, I was lead into a room with two fences.  Behind one were the inmates and behind the other were the visitors.  A space of about 3 feet stood between us where guards paced back and forth to hand notes and envelopes from one side to the other, checking each letter.  This isn't exactly what I expected a visit at the Immigration Detention Center (IDC) would look like.  I was expecting something like what I had seen in the movies.  Maybe we would sit at a table or talk on a phone between a plexi-glass window.  But that was not the case.
Instead we strained to hear one another over the chaotic noise of everyone shouting at once.  A young Cambodian boy in front of me cried silently, clutching the fence while his grandmother spoke to him in Khemer.  Down the line to my left visitors from a local church were praying for inmates over the chaos and to my right friends chatted passionately, trying to figure out how to get free.  In front of me was a woman who had been locked up for 2 years and couldn't stop speaking about the goodness and power of Jesus.  She has been dubbed, "the preacher," as she loves to preach and hold bible studies whenever possible.  Next to her was a 16 year old girl that had been trafficked from Ethiopia to Kuwait and then to Thailand.  After escaping from the man who forced her into a brothel she was picked up by immigration police and has been behind bars for 3 months now.  And just to their left was a young Vietnamese couple that I couldn't take my eyes off of.  They are Christians that have been locked up for nearly 2 years and only get to see each other on the occasion that visitors request to see them both at the same time.  What do all these people have in common?  What is their crime?  They all have expired visas and not enough money to bail themselves out.  That is their crime.

I am trying to wrap my mind around the reality of the Detention Center, but I can't.  It doesn't make any sense to me.  Families are torn apart as people of all ages (yes, children included) are held in crowded cages (calling it a "room" or even a "cell" would be a luxurious overstatement) with only watery rice-porridge to eat.  The only way to get adequate nutrition is to get lucky enough to have someone bring them food.  This is the condition in which they live day in and day out until they can manage to pay their way out.  Some will.  Some will not.  Many will not.  Especially the poor ones.  And all of this because of a visa! 
Thailand does not recognize refugee or asylum-seeker status, so families that have ended up here after fleeing their home countries because of persecution end up in danger once again.  They are in danger of ending up in this place or being sent back to their home countries where they will likely face imprisonment or death.  
This is a reality that thousands of people are facing in Thailand.  This is a reality that my families are facing.  They have been hiding from it, running from it, and taking crazy measures to avoid it.  I can't imagine them being locked up.

My mind feels like a scrambled egg and my heart has been broken into a million pieces.  For some reason the image of the Vietnamese couple has been burned into my mind.  Part of me wants to erase the memory because it hurts too much.  I'm tired of crying.  The other part wants and knows to embrace it because the prayer and intercession will be worth it.  Feeling God's heart for a person is always necessary and worthwhile, even when it hurts...especially when it hurts.

I pray that if I ever end up in jail someone will visit me, bring me food, and let me see my husband too.

"I was hungry and you gave Me food;
I was thirsty and you gave Me drink;
I was a stranger and you took Me in;
I was naked and you clothed Me;
I was sick and you visited Me;
I was in prison and you came to Me.....
Assuredly I say to you, inasmuch as you
did it to one of the least of these My
brethren, you did it to Me."
                                 -Matthew 25

One of the families that I've been working with through Life Raft International contacted me yesterday.  They were literally out of food, several members of the family were sick, and they didn't know what to do.

As of right now this family's financial situation is pretty uncertain. Rish just started a small business last week (see previous story below) but she has not had many customers yet and it will take time to get a solid customer base.  Some people have shown interest in helping to regularly support them, but it's difficult to know how much they can depend on, and at the time of the phone call I literally didn't have anything to give them!

The family prayed.  God answered.

When I got on Skype with Chris (the president of Life Raft International) he said, "It was so weird, today we received a random donation from a guy in Germany."  Chris doesn't know anyone from Germany. I know one; the man that Jesus healed on the steps of a mall when I came to Bangkok last December (you can read the story under my "blog" section).  When I inquired as to the man's name, he said Alex.  Yes, it was the same Alex.  And he had attached a message that read something along the lines of, "Give this to someone so that they do not loose hope."  Wow. His donation came in at exactly the right time, giving the family a surge of hope.

Today I went out to buy groceries with them along with Evette and our friend Ray.  "I am weak from not eating," said Moon as we were carrying food up to his room.  The family had hardly eaten anything yesterday, and hadn't eaten at all today.  Thankfully they were not sick anymore though.

They were very excited to start cooking and insisted that we stay to eat with them.  This is very normal in Pakistani culture and it is impolite to turn down the offer.  Even if they only have a little bit they will always serve their guests.  Not only that, but they also insisted that we eat first!  That's right, they were the ones that hadn't eaten for days and we had to coax them just to get them to eat at the same time.  They wanted us to have our fill before they had theirs.  How does that make sense?  We weren't the ones that had been going without food.

I was humbled as I sat down with this family that has risked their lives and suffered greatly for the Gospel of Christ.  They have been robbed of so much, and still they give of what they have.  It amazes me and challenges me greatly.

You know, Jesus talked about not worrying about what you will eat or what you will drink.  It sounds romantic until you sit with people that are starving and have no water.  Suddenly it's not so romantic anymore.  It can be more than a little worrisome.  He says to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and that all of these things will be given to you.  Sometimes when I look at the situations of these families I don't understand how these things will be given to them.  They're seeking after the Kingdom and God's righteousness and I'll be honest, sometimes I don't see how their needs are going to be met and it scares me.  

But days like today inspire me.  These people inspire me.  God moving in a man's heart in Germany to donate to a starving family in Thailand at just the right moment inspires me.  In times like these the revelation of who God is hits me like cool water on a hot day.  God is God.  He is who He says He is, and He is in control. 

Most of my life I never knew my neighbors.  I may have known who they were to an extent, but I never really knew them.  Now I spend time with my neighbors almost daily.  In fact, it's weird to go a day without seeing them.

We talk, eat, and simply enjoy each other's company.  They have been there for me through difficult times when all I could do was cry, and in return I was there to chase them through the parking lot with a dead rat.  Jack will always tell me when I have gained weight (believe it or not this is actually not offensive in Thai culture), and when I contort my face to make it look like I'm going to cry, Man is always there to tell me that I'm not fat.  Man will tell me that I'm a bad American for not keeping up on politics, and I will tell him that he's a crazy Thai for waking up in the morning to watch a debate that he can't understand (he's a huge Obama fan).  Thats kind of how it goes.  We have fun together.

During the days preceding Moon and Rish's wedding I didn't have any time to sit down with my neighbors.  And for a couple days following the wedding I was so busy recouping that I didn't have the energy to do anything beyond buying bread and eggs down the street, so I still wasn't sitting down with them.

Anyways, it has been great to catch up with them.  Actually we don't really catch up.  We just pick up where we left off.  As the teasing, games, and pranks begin I can tell that things are getting back to normal again.  And for that I am grateful.  Last week (I think it was last week, but maybe not) we played checkers on a piece of styrofoam with corks, and tonight we played badminton in the parking lot using the parking-blocks in place of a net.  It is such a joy to spend time with them, and honestly I beat myself up when I don't.  As busy as things may get at times, I never want to de-prioritize my friends and neighbors.  It's really easy to do that. It's really easy to get busy and pass by the people closest to us on a quest to help someone else that seems to be in greater need; someone further away from home.

I am reminded daily of both the words of my Christ and the words of Miss Amy Lancaster whom I met in Africa.

Jesus said in Mark, "The greatest commandment is this: love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength.  And the second is like it: love your neighbor as yourself.  There are no greater commandments than these."
And Miss Amy challenged us in Africa when she asked the question, "Do you even know your neighbors?"  

So now I challenge you as I have been challenged and am continually challenged.  Do you love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength?  Do you love your neighbor as yourself?  Do you even know the person next door to you?  Are you loving them as you should?

I think these are good questions to both ask ourselves and seek to apply.  After all, "there are no greater commandments than these."

A funny conversation about facial hair removal on Friday night turned into a prospective business opportunity for Rish in all of an hour.

Here's the story!
Rish was sitting on the couch at Sophia's house when she randomly asked the girl next to her if she had thread.  When the girl responded that she did, Rish offered to remove the facial hair above her lip for her! Haha.

This unexpected offer lead a group of us girls going into an upstairs bedroom to watch Rish "thread" the hair off of this girl's face, leaving it smoother than a baby's bottom.  As it turns out, Rish was a beautician back in Pakistan!  While more girls quickly lined up to be "threaded," Waan realized that this had the potential to be a great opportunity for Rish.  She could set up a small business out of Your Place Cafe above Newsong starting by word-of-mouth in our little community and hopefully expanding with some advertisements in the future.  Eventually as she is able to get supplies, she can move into hair cutting/styling, facials, mani's, and pedi's in addition to eyebrows and upper lips as she is doing now, which could greatly increase business.

Tonight was officially her first day of work and she had 1 customer.  It is our hope and prayer that this business will take off for her not only so that she can support her family, but also so that she can build relationships within the community, continue to gain work experience for the future, and hold onto that sense of accomplishment that we often take for granted when we are able to work hard to earn our money.

* Refugees and asylum-seekers in Thailand are prohibited from working which forces them against their will into the position of receiving handouts wherever they are available.  This is extremely difficult for them.  This informal job can help Rish to hold onto her dignity and sense of pride in her work.

Rish is extremely excited to begin, and we are excited for her too.  This is such a great opportunity for her to make money doing what she loves and bless others in the process.

Pray that God's hand would be upon her new business, for a strong customer base, and provision for her and her family.

Tonight I went on outreach with Sophia and Mackenzi into the red light district of Nana.  I have been going with Sophia into another red light district, Soi Cowboy on a weekly basis for several months now, but tonight she felt that we were supposed to go into Grace Hotel in Nana which is notorious for the trafficking of Eastern European women.

We started a short ways away from Nana where Sophia pointed out a tucked away staircase that lead to a government-protected brothel full of teenage girls.  We also stopped to pray outside of a bar that looked like a pretty normal sports bar from the outside but actually carts in many underage girls late at night, both Thai and Cambodian.
After that we went to visit bar girls that we have made friends with before heading to Grace Hotel.

Grace was surprisingly quiet inside, but it was still early.  There were a few prostitutes hanging around, but by the time that we were heading out a whole flood was coming in.

Sophia shared with us personal stories of helping women from Uzbekistan escape their oppressors while she was working with Night Light, the ministry mentioned in the video below. You can watch the full story here:

Our conversation was interesting because at the very base of it was the reality that in Thailand "money buys the law," as Sophia says.  In other words, it doesn't matter what is legal and what is illegal as much as who has the most money.  There are reasons that businesses like Grace Hotel are able to run so smoothly here in Thailand.  These reasons are not mentioned in the video and it's unlikely that you will find them online.  I would love to tell you exactly why, but because of certain laws I would probably be imprisoned, so I'd rather not.  For the moment I'll put it under the broad banner of "corruption."  I can explain more later upon returning to the states.

Please pray for Thailand.  Please pray for our government.  Please pray for the thousands of men, women, and children stuck in slavery both here and around the globe.  Thank you.

I just got off the phone with a woman from the Congo DRC who was literally squealing with joy when she found out that she could buy food.

Let me back up for a moment.
I met *Bellice a few months ago through Dwight at In Search of Sanuk.  He said that she was an asylum seeker living on her own and could really use a friend to hang out with.  So I started inviting her to gatherings at Newsong and checking in on her periodically.  It didn't take long to figure out that she was barely scraping by, often unable to afford food to eat.  One time I talked to her and she hadn't eaten all day.  I bought her food before service and she kept offering to share it with others!  At that moment I felt so selfish because I knew that if I was in her position I would have scarfed it down without a second thought.

As the story goes, the police raided her building a couple months ago so she had to move to a safer place.  She now lives significantly further away which makes it difficult to get together with her.  I called her today to check in and when I asked, "Do you have enough food to eat?" she responded with, "Oooooh how did you know that I have no food?!"  
She had been given a little extra money this month by In Search of Sanuk but was not sure if it was supposed to be for rent or food, because she didn't have enough for either.  So immediately she asked if she could use it for food because she has nothing to eat.  I made a quick call to Dwight to get a better picture of how much In Search of Sanuk has been helping her every month and we determined that I need to do an assessment with her because she clearly needs more help, but of course she can buy food! 

When I called her back to tell her that it's okay to buy food with the extra money she literally squealed with joy.  I had never heard anyone so excited to be able to eat before.  It wouldn't have surprised me if she was jumping up and down.  "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! God bless you! I am so happy that you are in my life! Thank you so much! I am going to go to the market right away!  I am so happy! I am going to eat right away! Thank you so much!" she continued to exclaim between squeals and giggles. Wow, my heart was undone.  This woman was SO excited about something so basic.  She was overjoyed at the opportunity to eat.  That's something that I take for granted, often grumbling when I can't eat something that I like or when I don't get enough.

It wasn't only her excitement for a basic necessity that touched my heart.  It was her thankfulness toward me.  I couldn't comprehend why she would thank me.  I didn't do anything!  I didn't produce the money, give it to her, or buy the groceries.  I was merely a messenger and a friend.  Then I realized that being a messenger and friend is part of the process; it's part of the greater picture.  Without that messenger and friend she may not have eaten.  We each have a part to play in helping others.  Sometimes it's big, and sometimes it's small.  Sometimes what we think looks small is actually big.  Rarely if ever are we able to see or comprehend the full extent of how God is using us in a given situation.  The people that have supported In Search of Sanuk did not get to see the excitement on Bellice's face or hear it in her voice.  When they gave to this organization and prayed for it, they probably didn't know that they would be enabling this starving woman to eat.  But they saved her life and will forever be a part of her journey.

As soon as the wedding was over on Sunday afternoon I basically locked myself in my room, only coming out to buy bread and eggs down the street at 7-11.  I cleaned the apartment like there was no tomorrow (it was smelling pretty bad from neglect), watched movies, and ate junk food.  It was time for some much needed R&R.  Not only for my mind, but my body too.  I've been getting sick...again.  This time it's just coughing, pain in my throat, and the left side of it swelling up.  So it's not too bad.  But still, sometimes I get sick of being sick.  If I were to guess (and I may be wrong), but it seems like I've been coming down with something (as minor as it may be at times) about once every 3 weeks.  That's a lot!  I'm going to blame the heavy pollution, humidity, drastic temperature changes between indoors and outdoors, and difficulty to maintain a healthy, well rounded diet.  Those are about the only reasons that I can think of.

Today (Tuesday) was the first day that I wandered out.  It was a little sad at first because my neighbor thought that I went on a trip yesterday.  When I explained to him that I was in my house all day he couldn't understand why I didn't even come out to say hi.  And I didn't have the language skills to explain it.

Then I taught English for an hour.  We read an article about "Gangnam Style," watched the youtube video, and I showed them how to do the dance.  Haha yes.

After teaching I went with some friends to a Hillsong Network Event where there was live music and speakers from the church in Australia.  On the downside, I fell asleep during the preaching (It was really good. I was just really tired).  On the plus side, a lot of people came to know Jesus for the first time!  That was awesome :-)

To top off the night I went with Evette (my roommate) to get an oil massage.  A few days ago a friend PayPal-ed me some money with a note, "...if you spend this on anything BUT luxuries I'm going to be pissed. Get yourself a massage."  That didn't take much convincing.  And massages here are CHEAP!  The 1 hour oil massage was less than $10! 
Last time I went to this particular massage parlor it was really awkward when a man propositioned me for sex.  "You come back I give you massage. I pay you."  Ick.  But I later found out that this is extremely abnormal for this parlor and they're usually really good.  So I decided to give it another try and LOVED it!  It was the best massage I've ever had in my life!

One of the families that I've been working with recently informed me of their run-in with the Thai immigration police.  All 5 of them have expired visas and are in danger of being thrown in the detention center indefinitely if caught.
They had just left church and were waiting at the bus stop on their way to Moon and Rish's wedding when the immigration car pulled up and the police started walking toward them.  According to another asylum-seeker that I know, immigration seeks out illegal people very aggressively in October and November to meet some sort of quota from the government.  This means that homes, bus stops, and businesses are being raided constantly at all hours of the day and night.  It is very dangerous for refugees and asylum seekers to travel anywhere, or even stay in their home for that matter.  They are terrified to go anywhere or do anything.

Anyways, this family saw the immigration police coming toward them so they fled up to the skytrain.  When they saw that the police were following them they ran down the other side and hopped onto motorbikes back to church were they stayed for nearly 7 hours before feeling comfortable enough to return home.

"My children were so scared," said *Walice, "my daughter wouldn't stop crying."  Heck I would be scared too.  From what I've heard (but have yet to see), the detention centers cram about 100 people into cell, including young children.  People will either end up there or deported back to their home countries where they are likely to be killed.  Rarely ever do they have enough money to bail themselves out. "I praise God for our safety today. Please don't forget to pray for us. We really need your prayers," he said before we hung up.

As the flower girl kept saying all morning, "Today's the big day!"  
After a year of engagement, a month of uncertainty, and 3 days of wedding planning, Moon and Rish finally got married!

I fell into the role of wedding coordinator quite unexpectedly and without a clue as to what to do or how to do it.  It felt like the blind leading the blind. Haha.
The wedding was quite simple, but as always there are a lot of decisions to be made and small details to attend to.  The donation from a supporter in America was a life saver, as were the people at Newsong Bangkok.  Rish looked beautiful in the wedding dress that she brought from Pakistan with her new shoes, tiara, faux red nails, elegant jewelry, and curled hair.

It was so great to see the community getting together to bring makeup, jewelry, cake, drinks, and decorate the church with fresh flowers.  One of our friends Megan walked upstairs to our room with her suitcase, fresh off the overnight bus from Laos and was like, "Hey can I use your shower.....OH MY GOSH it's your WEDDING DAY!" and ended up spending the next 3 hours decorating the church.  Hahahaha.  I love how people here jump right in.  I don't know what we would have done without them.

The bride and groom were both so nervous.  Rish was even scared to walk down the aisle by herself.  She tried to convince my roommate Evette to walk with her.  Haha.  We were Skyping in her parents, and it was a memorable moment to see the look on her father's face as he saw his little girl walking down the aisle all done-up in white.  How difficult it must be for a dad not to be able to give away his daughter on her wedding day, but how great it is that even in these tough situations he could watch the ceremony.  We got the whole thing on video too, so that's awesome.

And then a couple from Newsong covered their stay at a nice hotel for the night too.  Every couple should have some privacy on their wedding night.  Otherwise they would have gone back to sleep in the same room as his mom, dad, brother, and sister.  Not exactly romantic.  They called me later in the evening just to say how thankful they are to everyone that helped make this day possible.  After everything settled down and we got the apartment picked up a little bit, a few of us kicked back and watched a movie with Subway and a glass of wine.  Wow, what a day!